Byron Katie
The Work
Byron Katie
The Work (a product of Byron Katie Rolle) is a fascinating and simple process of 'undoing' problems. One could also say that it renders past judgements ineffective.
Looking down the page on the link above you will find a checklist of six statements to fill in. Following that are the instructions on how to deal with those statements. Work at it slowly. Give yourself time to let the 'truth' come through. When turning the statements around, don't let your first response be your last. The ego always hides the real answer behind a veil of excuses and facades. The inquiry will ask again and again until you suddenly open your eyes to what seems like 'truth'. At the same time, don't belabor any point. You have to feel good about what you're doing, so there's no reason to 'beat yourself up' looking for the 'right' answer. There are no right answers when doing the inquiry. There is only 'your' truth.
Some of the concepts I'm going to present here are not found in The Work. I am not taking away anything from The Work. It can stand alone without my adding anything to it. My 'extras' are simply my way of putting The Work into practice.
Example:
Statement #1: I hate my boss because he always make me feel stupid.
Question #1: Is that really true? (Does your boss make you feel stupid?)
Answer: Of course it is. If he didn't holler at me, I wouldn't have cause to feel stupid.
Inquiry: Did he twist your arm and say, "Feel stupid when I holler at you!"
Response: No. But his hollering is the same as twisting my arm.
Inquiry: Are there other times when you feel stupid, like when no one is around?
Response: Yes. I sometimes do stupid things.
Inquiry: Who makes you feel stupid then?
Response: Me.
Inquiry: Then when your boss simply yells at you, whose decision is it that you should feel stupid?
Response: Mine.
Inquiry: Then is it really true that your boss makes you feel stupid?
Response: No. It's my own decision.
Question #2: How do you know that to be true?
Answer: Because I said so. (It has nothing to do with reality. It's my word that is my truth.)
Question #3: What do you get out of holding onto the belief that you should feel stupid about anything?
Answer: I guess I just get to feel bad.
Inquiry: Is it worth feeling bad to hold onto that belief?
Response: No, but what else can I do?
Question #4: Who or what would you be without the belief that you're stupid?
Answer: What do you mean by that?
Inquiry: If you didn't feel stupid about anything, what would your life be like?
Response: Peaceful
Inquiry: Can you make a new decision to let go of that belief now?
(The inquiry process pushes on this point until the individual makes a new decision along this line. An example decision might be:
I release all beliefs, perceptions, and judgements that I should feel stupid about anything.
I accept and affirm that I am okay with whatever activity I am involved in, even if it does not result in the desired outcome.
The turnaround for statement #1:
I hate myself because I make myself feel stupid.
(There are several ways to turn this around. For many statements, it is best to start the statement with "sometimes" and follow the statement with "in my mind". Please recognize that though you may never do what you accuse another of doing, in your mind you may have fantasized doing it even once. There is no difference between a fantasy and reality in the mind. Those things which you would 'never' do are the ones you would hate yourself for if you did do them. So holding that judgement against yourself "shows up as" holding that judgement against another. You hate them because they are doing the things you would hate yourself for.)
Inquiry: Which is more true? The original statement or the way you just said it.
Response: The way I just said it.
Inquiry: Then is it true that you take out your hatred on others because of the way you feel?
Response: Yes.
Inquiry: Please recognize that the mind doesn't know the difference between what's "out there" and what's "in your head". The images you see as "out there", that other person, is just another representation of 'you' in your head. In reality, all minds are one. So making any attack on 'another' is really an attack on yourself. I am you. You are me. If you hate me, you hate yourself. If you hate yourself, you hate me. Do you see that?
Response: Yes.
Follow this process through the first five statements. See how they are linked with each other. See that all problems have the same signature (cause). And for the one cause, there is only one solution. There are many concepts that Katie tosses in to help with understanding the mind and how it works. This is one of my favorites (not an actual quote):
There are only three kinds of business: Your business, my business, and God's business. You know nothing of my business even though you think you know better than me what's best for me. You also know nothing of God's business even though you often tell God what's best for you. You really only know your business, so stay in your business.
With statement #6, things change dramatically.
Statement: I don't EVER want my boss to yell at me or make me feel stupid again.
Turnaround: I look forward to and I am willing to experience my boss yelling at me and making me feel stupid again.
Why would we want such a thing? We don't learn in a vacuum. If you understand the cause and affect of the first five statements and you have made new decisions about each one of them, you might go away feeling that you have accomplished something. But how would you know? Unless the same situation that earlier upset you happened again, you would never know you had changed. And if you did change, you probably wouldn't recognize that situation. Your life would have changed so dramatically that it would seem like a miracle. And it was. The only true miracle is when you change your mind. So having it happen again and seeing yourself get upset is a clue that you need to make a new decision to see things differently. Only because you believe in something does it appear to take form for you. If your neighbor doesn't believe that he or she feels stupid about anything, no amount of degradation on anyone's part will make them feel stupid or a 'lesser' person. They simply don't see things that way.
You should also recognize that your behavior is what 'triggers' others into their behavior. You can be a saint and that could trigger someone to want to sound off at you (they might see your sainthood as a signal that they aren't a saint, feel stupid for not being like you, and want to take it out on you). So no matter what you do, you can't take on the responsibility for how others feel. You can only be responsible for how you feel.
Accepting the possibility of the worst thing that could happen is not the same as saying "bad things 'will' happen." It just means that if it 'appears' to happen (and it's your judgement that it appears that way). So what?! State the obvious (the way you 'see' it), ask the four questions, turn it around, and make a new decision.
Your life will never be the same old lousy way again. Is that what you came here for? You can have it back anytime you want it.
Click here to listen to Byron Katie as she goes through the four questions with a volunteer. (If the background music of this page is still running, please wait until it is over or turn it off with the controls above.)